Shut Yer Blog
Favorite new blog. The byline: “Blogs suck. Nobody wants to read yer fucking diary. So just stop. God, blogs really suck.” Based entirely around a simple gimmick: for each post, self-proclaimed BlogShutter Rico the Squirrel crowns one unfortunate blog The Worst Blog of the Day, extracts a tellingly craptastic excerpt from the hapless fool, and proceeds to tear him or her a new one, ending with those three dreaded words: Shut Yer Blog.
A typical sample, from 1/8:
Now I gots ta add my two cents. So much about this post just SCREAMS for derision and mockery! I generally stay away from negativity on the internets, certain political discussions excluded, but I’m quite serious about exploring the topics of spirituality and religion, and I have no time for such brain-shriveling drivel. Give me a break! I’ve never heard the pro-sheep argument made, and I’m afraid it’s a rather unconvincing one. I say: question everything. Don’t be a pathetically content sheep. And ****Name Redacted****, I’m afraid I, too, am going to have to ask you to SHUT YER BLOG.
I hope Rico the Squirrel keeps this up, cuz I can’t think of any other blog that’s ever made me laugh out loud like this before.
N/P Clinic - Winchester Cathedral
A typical sample, from 1/8:
WORST BLOG OF THE WEEKEND
****Name & URL Redacted****
EXCERPT:
A Great Big Baaaaaa for Sheep!
Have you ever thought to yourself ~I’ve always wanted to be just like a sheep….~
Well I for one can say that I haven’t, but perhaps it’s not such a bad idea. In fact, I think there’s a lot to be said about the fact that Christians are so often referred to as sheep in the bible.
Baaaaaaa...
Sheep are remarkably good at being...well….. sheep. They serve great purpose, likely beyond what they could ever understand, still they are humble and simple creatures who trust in their Shepard. A Shepard will shear his sheep and although the sheep have no understanding of why this happens- they allow it to happen. They don’t ask, “Shepard! Why must this happen to me” ...
Sheep don’t ask questions. They know what they need to, but that’s it. I’m not saying that its wrong to have questions about the bible, God, Christianity, and so on- but I know that there are some questions that aren’t meant for us as sheep to know the answer to. Sheep know what they need to know in order to live as sheep.
Perhaps we should take example from the sheep, to learn trust, faith, sacrifice, as we live our life as Christians- devoted to our Shepard. Remember, your Shepard always has your best interest at heart.
Maybe we should all give a great big Baaaaaa for sheep. They might be better Christian role models then we think.
COMMENT: Attention aspiring cult leaders: Steph is ideal for your purposes. Fries, you can't possibly top this unintentionally-hilarious-gobbledygook, so do the right thing and just leave us (we don't want any more): SHUT YER BLOG.
# posted by Rico the Squirrel @ 11:23 AM
Now I gots ta add my two cents. So much about this post just SCREAMS for derision and mockery! I generally stay away from negativity on the internets, certain political discussions excluded, but I’m quite serious about exploring the topics of spirituality and religion, and I have no time for such brain-shriveling drivel. Give me a break! I’ve never heard the pro-sheep argument made, and I’m afraid it’s a rather unconvincing one. I say: question everything. Don’t be a pathetically content sheep. And ****Name Redacted****, I’m afraid I, too, am going to have to ask you to SHUT YER BLOG.
I hope Rico the Squirrel keeps this up, cuz I can’t think of any other blog that’s ever made me laugh out loud like this before.
N/P Clinic - Winchester Cathedral
posted by Jonathan Wright at 1:21 AM EMAIL POST
